The Next Thing

I’ve spent the bulk of my day rearranging my flat to protect various pieces of art from dust and light exposure. My bedroom and a closet are the only options here, and I’m whittling the excesses away to avoid feeling so closed in. I have a lot of art, as much furniture as is comfortable, and a few places to make work. I’ve chosen to use my flat as my studio as well as living, and for a small place such as I have, it can easily overwhelm. I draw tattoos on my bed, do large work on the floor in the middle of my living room, more detailed things on the table just inside my window until the sunlight abates, and a desk at the end of a galley kitchen for working after dark. Since I don’t have a clear picture of what I’ll be making next, I’ve opted for organizing my things in hopes of narrowing down a concept. I have a few starts but nowhere yet to go with any of them. Sometimes it goes like this, but I can’t just push it through. I know better.

There were a couple of large pieces I made a few years ago using a lot of different materials I’ve saved and I never liked the piece at any stage. I hung the work but never liked it. This is a good reason to just have it around for a while, because the option to dismantle it always exists. To have made so much work over the course of a decade that wasn’t meant to be shown, or sold, or even shared, means it sits beneath my own harsh scrutiny, and thankfully I stand behind most of them to this day. The unsatisfactory work eventually meets its demise as I take it apart and hope to repurpose its framing, but the materials used can never be used again, and I have buried it, thrown it out, or given parts away. After cleaning and reorganizing today, I definitely know what I have in materials and mediums. And I’ve learned one thing. I am eager and never shy to try new mediums, but freely I must admit that I am a master of none of them, and it’s easy to be hard on myself in that regard.

But I do try to make complete works to the best of my ability and use a variety of methods I can learn myself. I’m a self-taught artist that was inspired by the work of a local artist in the 90’s who was also self-taught. Seeing his work in galleries made me feel like making and appreciating art is accessible to anyone. I grew up collecting random things, always had tactile fixations, leaned into symbolism, superstition, ritual, and magical thinking whenever I’d find something on the ground that felt meaningful to me. I’d save clear containers and box tops to make art inside of, and did this for years until I discovered cigar boxes. Then I’d score the pieces over and over with an exact-o blade in order to cut and make frames. I made work that way for a long time. Eventually I had a proper studio space, a basement where I could use a jigsaw and a scroll saw to make more detailed things without destroying my fingers with my former method. My workshop grew into a full fledged workshop adding a table saw, miter saw, and drill press. Down there I could stain wood and paint, and having that designated place made all the difference. The Hell is Real series, Cuckoo series, and the entire Stream of Consciousness series came from that workshop. Then, around 2017, I sold all of my tools because I had a few close calls and never wanted to make another frame as long as I lived. I think it was also about having too much stuff and since I live in a small one bedroom now, I’m once again limited to what I can make myself without all of that unless I use the workshop of someone else.

There are about 7 more pieces of art I want to make for my exhibition next year. My gallery doesn’t exhibit flat medium like painting so it’s all mixed media that will be shown. My Trinity series awaits its day and that was all stowed away in the closet today because it was driving me nuts to see them stacked against the wall without a timeline to be shared. Out of sight, out of obsession, at least for now. I’m sure there will be more than seven more pieces created for the exhibit, but for now I have my mind set on that number at the least and just under one year to make them. You’d think that’s a lot of time, but the work I make is from personal experience so far and that’s a lot of living to do where it all comes from. So we’ll see where it all leads. The countdown begins. I will stay put until then, saving, making, working, and trying to keep myself together in all of it.

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