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Between the ages of 18-20, I travelled on and off hopping trains, hitchhiking, and linking with caravans. I’d just dropped out of art college after 3 months on a full ride scholarship. After changing schools ten times, between six parental marriages, and multiple home addresses, I couldn’t sit still and focus. By the time I graduated, I was out of my mind and pretty much squatting in my own school.

After attempting suicide at 16, my mind was in complete disarray and a ravaged memory made personal responsibility a matter of mere survival. On the street, you can’t imagine the predatory atmosphere of decided homelessness omnipresent and inherent in that environment as a young woman looking for herself. I didn’t know much, just that I didn’t want to be stuck on the street forever. I doubt anyone does. I had a code: no sex, no drugs, stay self sufficient and call it in if I’m in trouble. I became the near-death coral reef, desperate to survive, one of many, a nobody with nothing to lose. Always with a sketchbook in hand, shitty paintbrushes and a watercolor set stolen from my high school art closet, I painted nonstop on the street. I invited conversation from passers by until or unless they became interested in something more. It was my wartime experience, one I could write a book about. This piece uses the shark teeth of a type of natural predator that never completely sleeps; the shark. Unihemispheric sleep allows a shark to rest half its brain while the other half stays awake and alert in constant hunt. Those days kept me on my toes, amidst exhaustion, malnourishment, and over-exposure to the earthy elements of human behavior. This experience helped me to develop a sense of awareness and instinct for predatory energies, utilizing the same skill of detection, but to look out for myself. Catalyzed by a very near point of no return, I called it in. Divine intervention saved my life. Thankfully I’d stuck to my code and overcame the folly of my naivety. You might wonder what made me think it was all a good idea to begin with. I’d say it wasn’t an idea at all, but a strange kind of calling.
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Handmade sacred heart of clay, embedded shark teeth, wire, paper, handpicked honey locus thorns, acrylic paint (Handmade ghost coral), chiffon, handmade frame

2020
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