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As a kid I’d stare up at ceilings and imagine myself walking on them as if they were the floor. I’d step over head jamb’s and see beams as room dividers. Once I saw myself like a bug attached to the dna strand of the universe, and looking across at other parts of the strand I saw a smoke alarm that looked like Saturn, a fire sprinkler that looked like a metal terrestrial tree, and various other objects that made me feel like we’re all these little clusters embedded in the nucleotides of DNA. I was just viewing universes of the same giant universe, waking up in endless space and barely able to grasp what I was seeing in the vast unseen. In this way I felt connected to the imaginings of “other’s” as a concept. Zooming out and zooming in forever, this thing just goes and goes. Caduceus.

The deaths head moth is said to symbolize one’s death approaching soon. At the time in my life I was making this piece, I thought I was sick, like really sick, and so I’d been confronting feelings of my own mortality. I realized how much fear had held me back throughout the course of my entire life, and I wanted to confront my attachment to fear itself. Through a series of events and experiences I will not go into here, my thoughts about death changed, as did my relationship toward fear.

The grasses sticking out of the cap of this heart were given to me in real time during construction by someone who was instrumental in confronting my personal limitations and boundaries. This was a grueling lesson to learn, but most certainly a life-changing one, and for that I’m grateful to have come out the other side.

There’s a couple of things I didn’t see when I initially shot this photo, like a couple of pieces of debris that have since been brushed off. Thought they should stay in the photo, kinda cute in their way and funny that I didn’t see them while shooting it since I was quite obsessed with following through with these insane revisions.
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Handmade sacred heart of clay, deaths head moth in graphite, clay caduceus, dried grasses from quarantine runs, chiffon, handmade frame.

2020
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